This morning I woke up at 4am and kept waking up every 45 minutes until I decided to just throw in the towel and get out of bed. (6:05) Maybe psychologically I was dreading the long awaited weigh-in?
Before we get to that, I started the day off with 2/3 of a honeycrisp. That gross looking brown blob on the plate is a tsp of sunflower butter microwaved with a tsp of almond milk to make it more spreadable. It worked! Not very aesthetically appealing though. (100cal)
There was still no sign of movement from my roommates at 7:30 so I went downstairs and blended away. Since I was staying home this morning working on a paper I used my smoothie cup with a straw for a change. There was too much smoothie for the cup. (200cal)
My 10 page career reflection paper is due Saturday morning, and I managed to write 1.2 pages (aaack) before throwing in the towel for the morning. I was going to grab a snack before heading to school to make my chocolate shake (2pm lunch) in the blender to take with me but it turned out SO THICK AND CREAMY that I had to have it for lunch instead. I put in a lot of ice cubes and left the blender on for over a minute. The consistency was seriously milkshake like.
This was the Mint Chocolate flavor which I didn't think I'd like but it ended up being my favourite flavor to date. The taste for once is very authentic to an actual chocolate mint and not at all artificial. (220 calories because I used almond milk)
Since I ate (drank) my lunch/snack, I brought this PB&J flavored Larabar with me instead.
I opened it to take a photo of it but had it between 1:30 - 2:30 when I got hungry. I used to really dislike Larabars because they feel so small for how calorically dense they are. (230 calories, I can have a wrap for that!) This flavor has made me appreciate them more though because the taste is so rich you only need tiny nibbles.
After school I went birthday present hunting (my mom's bday next week) and came home to work on a couple of cases before dinner. School is a really good distraction from food because before I realized it my stomach was in pain and it was already 5:20. Operation clean-out-the-fridge is still in full effect so I chopped up half a yellow bell pepper, a quarter of an onion and threw it on a thin pizza crust with some tomato paste. I also added 1/2cup of mozzarella cheese.
After twenty minutes in the toaster oven at 350 the edges were nice and crusty! Cut up into 8 slices. (360cal)
The mozzarella was disappointingly lackluster so I improvised. I mixed together a chunk of blue cheese, with some reduced-fat mayo and added frank's red hot sauce. It tasted like blue cheese chipotle mayo. Looks gross but tasted fantastic! (60cal)
Just had a dessert of the remaining 1/3 honeycrisp with a cherry-vanilla yogurt (130 cal) and am getting this post out of the way so I can go back to my essay.
Total Calories: 1300 for now. If I manage to hack away a good chunk of this paper tonight there will definitely be some ice cream as a reward. :D
As for the weigh-in this morning, the scale read 131.0 on the dot.
I was really surprised to see that I had actually LOST WEIGHT since last week. Did you guys see what I ate this past weekend? Multiple bottles of wine + tons of candy & chocolate + Oreo McFlurry + Nachos with 800cal worth of cheese + sooo much more. I think this is a sign that I need to trust my body more and not deprive it of what it really wants.
September was an awesome month of weight loss (4lb total) but I wanted the process to speed up and severely restricted calories in October and my weight fluctuated accordingly. One week it got as low as 128 but that was around when the chocolate cravings hit and the unhealthy behavior started. Even though my net weight loss in October was 0lb. I just need to remind myself of the BIG PICTURE.
In the middle of January I weighed 148 lb! That was the highest I had ever been in my life, and I've done some pretty silly diets since then but I've whittled away 17lb in 10months. (Some months I actually gained weight back.) In the grand scheme of things, I now know more about serving sizes, nutritional content, and cooking in general then ever before. Most of my fully-grown life before January has been spent in the 120 - 130 range and I've never felt the need to diet before. The number just fluctuated according to my level of activity and conscious eating habits.
A short reflection on previous November weights.
16 years old - at the end of BMQ I was super ripped and one big muscle. I ate man-sized, double-serving military meals, everyday for 2 months. ;) 130lb.
17 years old - When I came to UBC in my first year I was a little under 120lb. I spent the previous summer training in Borden. Again, military meals but only single-portions this time.
18 years old - Lots of rez food + lack of exercise + alcohol meant the inevitable freshman 15. In my second year hovered between 127 - 130lb.
19 years old - (September) I spent a summer at home and worked my ass off at the gym every day after work. I ate whatever I wanted, felt great, and managed to lose a bunch of weight. 120lb. (November) Hated life! Drank lots and ate lots more and ended up gaining 20lb -> 140lb. (December) Gained 10 more lb out of shock at realizing I was fat -> 150lb.
20 years old - Gained a bunch of weight, lost some, gained some back, lost more. Sometimes I ate lots, other times I ate nothing. Currently at 131lb.
I feel really good about where I am and how far I've come. My goal is to lose 6lb in the next 7 weeks and be 125 by the time I am home for the holidays, and ultimately to be back at 120 by the time I turn 21! That's 11lb in 4 months and I think a perfectly healthy target.
Sorry for the long ramble! (Can you tell I really don't want to write this essay??) I hope to keep these Weigh-in Wednesdays a constant entry until I reach my target.